question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
