He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
God, I missed his penis.
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