is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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