He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
