The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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