Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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