how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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