I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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