shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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