Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
