Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
