ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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