It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
