dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
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