When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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