Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
