remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
