On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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