I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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