Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize