apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
