his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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