***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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