Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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