just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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