she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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