So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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