A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
