Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
