I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
