i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
