So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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