Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
