When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
