I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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