Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize