I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
