You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
