Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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