allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
