i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
