youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
