Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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