i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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