i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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