the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
