I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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