Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
