I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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