Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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