This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize