At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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