Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
