Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
dude. I can hear the air.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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