check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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