Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I deserve this hangover.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
