no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
