You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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