What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
