Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize