I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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